my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
