wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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