There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
