We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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