I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize