He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
