this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
