his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
