would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize