The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
