Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
