I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
