you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
