The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
