Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
