I'm going to jail i love you
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
