Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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