is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
