i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
