After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize