You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
