areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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