What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
