is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We had sex on a dog bed..
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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