Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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