I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
