does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
