ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
