i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
