I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
