Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
