; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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