I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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