me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
