I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You're earring is so big in my mouth
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
