It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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