apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
