Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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