Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
