So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
