Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
