Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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