he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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