Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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