I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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