Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
