i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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