i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
