So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
