Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
