dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
