I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
