Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
