So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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