At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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