Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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