You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
