Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize