She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize