that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
