So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
