I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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