I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
