So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
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