Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
