hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
