she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We just shotgunned beers for America
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
