this beer tastes like vomit already
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
