I can tuck mytits in my pants
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
